(no subject)
Apr. 3rd, 2009 09:51 pm[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]
I'm already tired of them, aren't I. All three. They are the closest I'm likely to get to what I've been searching for, but -- the lessons you learn early always hold some truth. Be careful what you wish for; you might get it.
Saeren is precisely what Mother would have chosen. I can see that clearly, very easily. He is genuine and polite, soft without simpering. And not an original thought in his head. Derez is too eager, like a boy half his age. This is not the sort of game you enter into when you've not properly learned the ropes, and I won't apologize for that summary when it's warranted. ... Sir Connor, conversely, knows the game very well. He intrigues me, but he would not be hard to deconstruct if I were to dedicate the time, and then what would he be? A dull, surly copy of Saeren. What a joy.
And if I head back to the pool and the nets it invites another age of deliberation. No one would say a word, of course. Certainly not to my face. But I can see their thoughts, and some have become none too kind.
They think I do not know myself, but -- that's not the case. I know precisely what I want. I always have. I suppose it's even lucky in some ways that it doesn't seem likely to present itself here, after all.
Nevertheless.
[Filter: Joseph, in Atsirian]
Certain matters seem to be progressing rather well. I've received a number of panicked apologies, all so full of contrition and regret. And promises to do better, of course. That most of all.
But one thing does concern me.
I'm already tired of them, aren't I. All three. They are the closest I'm likely to get to what I've been searching for, but -- the lessons you learn early always hold some truth. Be careful what you wish for; you might get it.
Saeren is precisely what Mother would have chosen. I can see that clearly, very easily. He is genuine and polite, soft without simpering. And not an original thought in his head. Derez is too eager, like a boy half his age. This is not the sort of game you enter into when you've not properly learned the ropes, and I won't apologize for that summary when it's warranted. ... Sir Connor, conversely, knows the game very well. He intrigues me, but he would not be hard to deconstruct if I were to dedicate the time, and then what would he be? A dull, surly copy of Saeren. What a joy.
And if I head back to the pool and the nets it invites another age of deliberation. No one would say a word, of course. Certainly not to my face. But I can see their thoughts, and some have become none too kind.
They think I do not know myself, but -- that's not the case. I know precisely what I want. I always have. I suppose it's even lucky in some ways that it doesn't seem likely to present itself here, after all.
Nevertheless.
[Filter: Joseph, in Atsirian]
Certain matters seem to be progressing rather well. I've received a number of panicked apologies, all so full of contrition and regret. And promises to do better, of course. That most of all.
But one thing does concern me.